Tag Archive for happy

Think Yourself Happy

Is it possible to ‘think yourself’ happy?  

One of the things that people forget, is how much control we have over our own happiness.  And this is in large part because of the amount of control we can choose to have over our thoughts, feelings and behaviours.  We can choose to think in ways that tend to make us happy, or in ways that tend to make us sad.

To be happy you must be your own sunshine.

~ Charles Edward Jerningham

And, as well as choosing to see the positives in our life, we can think ourselves happy by letting go of things that we cannot change:

Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and can’t control that inner tranquillity and outer effectiveness become possible.

~ Epictetus, The Art of Living

In the Christian tradition there is a prayer which I use as a meditation:

Grant me

the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

the courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference

So today, why not consider the areas of your life that you feel unhappy with, and use the questions below to reflect on them while being mindful of control, acceptance, courage and wisdom – take the first step to ‘thinking yourself’ happy:

1)  What things do I have some control over, and what things don’t I have control over?  

2)  How can I accept and come to terms with the things beyond my control?

3)  What can I do differently to change, for the better, the things I do have some control over?

4)  How else can I “be my own sunshine”?

What do you think? – share your thoughts on these quotes, and happiness in general – how do you think yourself happy? – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters.

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk

 

A man once told the Buddha….

Just a short entry today, from the Buddha – something that made me think….

A man once told the Buddha, ‘I want happiness’.

The Buddha said
remove the ‘I’ … that’s ego,
now remove the ‘want’ … that’s desire,
now all you are left with is, Happiness.
There are many things we can do, small and large, to feel happier in our lives – I have already covered several of them in this blog.
But, ultimately, it is how we choose to think, and how we choose to act that creates or removes happiness from our lives.
When something bad happens, if you can’t change it then change the way you think about it.
I think the Buddha, in the above quote, is suggesting that to feel happier we need to:
– think less about ourselves,
– and less about what we want but don’t have.
That’s bound to make us happier, isn’t it?

What do you think? – share your thoughts on this quote and happiness – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters.

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk

PS if you are interested in reading more on happiness from a Buddhist perspective, you might like to read the book I link to below:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Art-Happiness-Handbook-Living/dp/0340750154/

“The Art of Happiness” by the Dalai Lama – click the link above to read about it on Amazon.

Meditation and Happiness

Can meditation make you happier?

Yes. 🙂

People who practice meditation regularly report feeling less stressed and more emotionally balanced.  Researchers have even seen changes in the physical structure of the brain after regular meditation.

Numerous scientific studies have shown meditation reduces anxiety as well as stress – people who meditate tend to worry less about the problems they are facing in life, and are therefore happier as a result.

Here are some of the benefits that you may get from meditation:

Physiological benefits:

– Leads to deeper levels of physical relaxation
– Decreases muscle tension, aches and pains
– Enhances the immune system and lowers blood pressure
– Helps with pain control in chronic diseases
– Reduces headaches & migraines
– Produces lasting beneficial changes in brain biochemistry

Psychological benefits:

– Increases serotonin level, positively influencing mood and behaviour
– Helps us take control of our thoughts
– Helps with focus & concentration, learning ability and memory
– Increases emotional stability
– Reduces feelings of aggression and anger
– Reduces anxiety and tendency to worry
– Gives composure to act in considered & constructive ways

‘Spiritual’ benefits:

– Provides peace of mind, happiness
– Helps you discover your purpose
– Increases your compassion and wisdom
– Leads to deeper understanding of yourself and others
– Increases one’s acceptance of oneself
– Helps learn forgiveness

– and you might even reach spiritual enlightenment! 🙂

People report a whole range of benefits from meditation, and many of them are backed up by scientific research.

If you would like to try meditation, in the comfort of your own home, for free, then I would highly recommend the website below:

http://www.getsomeheadspace.com/

All you do is register, for free, then you get ten days of guided meditation (just ten minutes a day) for free.  Andy does of course offer paid-for meditation packages on his site, but they don’t pressure you to sign up for them or anything.

I should say that I don’t know Andy Puddicome, but I have tried the 10-day freebie and found it really good.

There are of course plenty of other internet sites and books where you can read about meditation, but I think Get Some Headspace is a good place to start.

Good luck!

And, tell me what you think – share your thoughts on meditation and happiness, and how you have got on with meditating – what difference has it made?  – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters.

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk

The Way to Happiness

We often ask ourselves, what is the way to happiness?

I think that happiness is a process, not a destination, and I am reminded of this Zen Buddhist quote:

There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

He goes on to say that “There is no way to peace. Peace is the way.
There is no way to enlightenment. Enlightenment is the way.”

For me, happiness is a journey, not a destination.  Just as keeping fit requires regular exercise, so keeping happy requires taking regular action that supports our being happy.

The way to happiness then, is to do things that create it, things that make you feel happy in the moment as well as in the long-term. Some of the things mentioned in my previous blog-posts perhaps.

There is also the thought that we should act now, rather than waiting.  I recently found the following poem on the internet.  No author was listed, so, if anyone can tell me who wrote it I would be grateful.  I shall leave you with their words:

There is no way to happiness.

Happiness is the way.
So, treasure every moment that you have.
And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special.

And remember that time waits for no one.
So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school,
Until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds,
Until you have kids, until your kids leave the house,
Until you start work, Until you retire,
Until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night,
Until Saturday morning, until you get a new car or home,
Until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer ,
Until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth,

Until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink,
Until you’ve sobered up, until you die, until you are born again,
To decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy
Happiness is a journey, not a destination

Work like you don’t need the money,
Love like you’ve never been hurt,
And dance like no one’s watching.

Over to you: tell me what you think – share your thoughts on happiness – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters.

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk

Eat your way to happiness

Is it possible to eat your way to happiness? 

Most of us know intuitively that our mind and body are very much connected.

The human body is the best picture of the human soul

— Ludwig Wittgenstein

Why do we so often reach for chips, and sugary drinks?  Do they really make us feel better, or are we just comforting ourselves with food rather than hugs.  How do you really feel after you have eaten piles of junk food and had too much to drink?

Is your body a temple… or a toilet?

Happiness of mind is clearly linked to having a ‘happy’ body.

I have talked before about choosing to fill our minds with positive thoughts.  It is equally important to fill our bodies with positive nutrition.

I am not saying you need to become a supermodel and live off rabbit food, but just to stop and think before taking a bite.

H.A.L.T. – why I am I eating/drinking this?

Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired?  Or maybe even just bored or thirsty?

If you are genuinely hungry, then eat.  If you are considering eating for any other reason, then food isn’t the answer.

So over the next few days, try to be mindful of giving your body what it needs to function best, rather than comforting your mind with food that ultimately won’t make you happier.

Good luck!

And, tell me what you think – share what you have done differently, as a result of being more mindful about food, to work towards happiness with your physical self – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters.

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk

Be happy by celebrating success

Can you be happy by celebrating success?  At the very least it can help you to feel happier – it is just one way of helping you to see the good things in life, rather than focussing on the bad things.

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

– Oprah Winfrey

One of the ways to feel happier is to cultivate a positive outlook, and this includes appreciating one’s achievements and looking forward with positivity.

In one of Paul McKenna’s excellent books (“I can make you thin”) he encourages us to answer 5 questions at the end/beginning of each week.  I reproduce them here – give them a try:

1.  The best things that happened this week were:

2.  My biggest challenges this week were:

3.  I did these things for the first time:

4.  What I learned was:

5.  My top 3 priorities for the week ahead are:

Simple questions, but they encourage you to reflect on what went well, what could have been better, and how you will go forward based on what you have learned.

Be happy by celebrating success – by feeling good about what has gone well, and also by looking at how you can make things even better in the week ahead.

Good luck!

And, tell me what you think – share what you have done differently, as a result of answering these questions, to be happy with yourself  – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters.

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk

How to be Happy at Work

Are you tired of feeling unhappy at work?  Would you like to feel happy at work instead?  Or at the very least, happier?

If you don’t think being happy at work is important then you need to read the blog-post I made here: Is Happiness at Work Important?

It might feel like we have no control over how we feel at work, but in fact, we do.

Here are some things that you can do to feel happy at work:

Always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to your colleagues – the better you treat others, the more willing they’ll be to help you get the job done.

Keep clear boundaries – don’t mix personal and professional relationships – look for intimacy in other areas of your life.

Avoid toxic colleagues – the complainers, naysayers, gossips and critics who want to rain negativity on everyone’s parade – the more you expose yourself to them, the unhappier you will feel.

Look for win-win solutions – when we engage in win-lose battles we waste energy and it is counter-productive for all.  Try compromising, collaborating and accommodating as much as you can.

Handle your frustrations constructively – use your judgement: if small conflicts between you and your colleagues lead to improvements in how effectively the team works, then that’s constructive. If frustrations lead to anger, tension and upset then that’s not constructive!

That’s just a few ideas to get you started.  You could also consider looking at improving your work environment, how you organise your day, and a range of other things that might help you feel more positive at work

– What action will you take to feel happier at work? What changes can you make to your behaviour, to be happy at work?

You may well find that as you become more positive, your colleagues do too, making a better working place for everyone.

Good luck!

And, tell me what you think – share what you have done differently, as a result of reading this article, to put more happiness into your work life – how did you feel afterwards?  – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters.

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk

Happiness Workshop – How to feel happier

People living in the Manchester, UK area might be interested in this Happiness Workshop next Tuesday:

Do you feel Happy?  Successful?  Fulfilled?

 Would you like to feel Happier?

 Spring-Clean Your Future – the Happiness Workshop

 Tuesday 12th June, Chorlton Library

Doors open 7.15pm       Workshop starts 7.30pm

 BOOK your FREE place at:

http://www.Happiness-Workshop.co.uk

 

  • What happiness means to you
  • How you can take control of your own happiness and well-being
  • 9 steps to a happier life; things we can all do to feel better
  • 2 things which, done daily, can help  increase your happiness
  • How to set a fulfilling personal goal, and how to achieve it

Workshop Limited to 50 people –  

RESERVE YOUR PLACE TODAY!

Workshop facilitated by

Chorlton’s own Happiness Coach,  Mary R. Perkins

on behalf of Manchester City Council

Beliefs and Happiness

Can your beliefs affect your happiness level?  YES.  Beliefs and happiness go hand in hand.

Our beliefs and happiness are both things that we have some control over.

People who focus on choosing positive beliefs over negative ones tend to feel happier.  This is because our thoughts affect our feelings.  And our feelings affect our behaviour and ultimately how we experience the world.

Your subconscious mind tries to support you in whatever you do.  So, whatever beliefs you choose to hold, your subconscious mind supports you by finding evidence to support those beliefs.

For example: if you are running round the house saying “I can’t find my car keys,” your subconscious mind takes on this belief and raises your feelings of stress. The feelings of stress affect your behaviour: you become less observant, and so are less likely to spot where your keys are. Your belief becomes true – it has determined how you experience the world.

On the flip-side, another example: research has shown that people who believe themselves to be lucky actually tend to be luckier – the reason behind this, scientists suppose, is that they tend to spot opportunities that people who consider themselves to be unlucky do not.

So, what can we do?   Change the way we think!

Whenever you catch yourself thinking something negative, grab hold of the thought before it can take hold, and replace it with a thought that will be more helpful to you.

So, for example: if you catch a thought that says “I am rubbish at X,” stop yourself and replace it with “I am getting better at X,” or even, “I am great at X” and keep repeating these positive thoughts so that they sink in and your subconscious can find ways to support them – it really makes a difference!

So too with happiness.  A thought like “life sucks” can be replaced with “my life is getting better” or “I am making my life better” or “I am feeling happier every day”.

The aim isn’t to become a grinning loon and get carted off by men in white coats – no one wants to be smiling 24-7.  It’s about creating more positive thoughts, to change our perception of the world and allow us to get more out of life.

Incidentally, when you are feeling down, try adopting the posture of a happy person (shoulders back, sit up straight, chin-up), and smiling.  It is amazing what a difference that can make to how we feel.  Even the simple act of smiling releases ‘happy chemicals’ that elevate our mood.

So beliefs and happiness are strongly linked.

What positive beliefs can you take on, to improve your happiness?

Good luck!

And, tell me what you think – share what beliefs you have taken on to put more happiness into your life, and how you felt afterwards  – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters.

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk

PS if you live in Manchester and would like to find out more about feeling happier, then book yourself a FREE place on my Happiness Workshop next Tuesday.  Limited to 50 people, so BOOK YOUR PLACE NOW BY CLICKING HERE.

Is happiness at work important?

Happiness at work is more important than you might think.  

More and more employers are starting to recognise the bottom-line benefits of having happy employees.  Enlightened bosses are investing in one-to-one happiness coaching, for themselves and for their staff, to positively prime their work-force for higher performance.

The old view was that if you work hard, you will be successful.  And once you are successful, then you will be happy.  But this doesn’t work: with each success we adjust to it, so happiness keeps getting pushed just over the horizon.

The science of positive psychology has demonstrated that things actually work the other way around – If you can find ways to be happy, then you will be more successful!  Happiness is the precursor to success, rather than the result of it.

Countless studies have now shown that happiness at work leads to higher performance at work, and in other areas of our lives – this is because positive people are more motivated, more efficient, more creative and more productive, which drives performance upwards.

Sadly the picture in many work places today is rather different, with studies showing that only 45% of workers are happy in their jobs.  And depression rates today are ten times higher than they were in the 1960s.

The cost of this unhappiness at work is not just about the emotional cost for the employees, but the financial cost for their employer – unhappy employees take more sick days, an average of 15 extra sick days a year.

Yet if we can inject some happiness at work, it makes such a difference!

Research shows that happy workers have higher levels of productivity, produce higher sales, perform better in leadership positions, and receive higher performance ratings and higher pay.

For example, one study found that doctors in a positive mood show almost 3 times more intelligence and creativity than doctors in a neutral state, and they come to an accurate diagnosis twice as fast.  Another study showed that optimistic sales people outsell their pessimistic counterparts by nearly 60%.

There are many things, big and small, that can be done within the work-place to increase employee happiness at work.  Some are things that the company can do; and some are things that the employee do.

Examples include: finding things to look forward to at work (perhaps by setting goals); meditation and exercise during lunch-hours; performing acts of kindness towards colleagues; infusing positivity into the surroundings; giving employees the chance to use their signature strengths; learning how to have more positive interactions with colleagues; encouraging self-belief; giving employees more responsibility and control…. the list goes on!

Studies have shown that our external circumstances predict only about 10% of our total happiness. That means that our happiness is 90% down to internal factors – what’s in our head.

So it is within the power of every employee, given support by their employer, to create their own happiness at work (and across all aspects of their lives) for themselves.

There is much we can all do (with help) to work on our internal circumstances at work: for example we can change our thoughts at work, feelings about work and the way that we behave at work.

What could you do differently at work, to feel happier there?

How could you think differently about work, to feel happier there?

If you are the boss, what could you do differently, for your employees, to help them create more personal happiness at work?

Good luck!

And, tell me what you think – share what you have done to create more happiness at work, perhaps for yourself, or for others – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters.

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk