Tag Archive for behaviour

Speaking on BBC Radio about Simplicity

What is simplicity and what difference can it make to our lives?

Recently, I was invited to speak on BBC Radio again.  I spoke about ways to feel happier by living a simpler life.  By embracing the simplicity ethos.

In the interview I talk about some of the steps people can take to live simpler lives.  Simplicity is a proven route to greater happiness.

If you would like listen to it, there is a recording of the BBC Radio interview here:

Mary Speaking on BBC Radio

In the recording above we have edited out a song they played, so most of the recording here is me and the presenter talking.

If you have any questions about what I said, please do get in touch.

Writing and happiness

How do writing and happiness go together?

On our journey towards living a happier life, writing can be a great ‘support tool’ – a way of keeping track of our progress along that journey.

Writing can also help us to get back on track with the positive changes we are making in our lives, when we lose track of the path we have chosen.  So writing and happiness can be very much linked.

There are many ways of writing: poetry, stories, letters to friends, letters to yourself, etc.  My favourite way of using writing to explore my happiness (and my life in general) is to keep a journal.  I would like to suggest that you give it a try too.  And don’t forget that a journal can include the things I mentioned above, like poetry, if you wish.

Many people keep a journals  in which they write down experiences, thoughts, ideas or feelings.  Your journal can be formal or informal, daily or whenever, following guidelines or random, and private or public.

Keeping a journal will absolutely change your life in ways you’ve never imagined.

– Oprah Winfrey

There are many good reasons for keeping a journal.  One of them is that it allows you to reflect on what your recent thoughts and behaviours have been – this raised awareness will help you to interrupt any patterns of negative thinking and behaviour and instead help you to create and maintain new, more positive, ones that make you happier.

If you aren’t convinced how writing and happiness can go together, via keeping a journal, here are some other benefits of keeping a journal:

A journal can help to clarify your goals.   As you write down your thoughts and ideas each day, it will help you to gain clarity on what is important to you; what you want in life.

A journal can strengthen your relationships.   It can give you a private place to express your feelings and clarify things in your mind.  This will help you to understand and be patient with others.

A journal can affirm the reality of your life.  Writing about life gives it more meaning and power.  Journalling important events adds substance to them, and provides a treasured memento to look back at later.

And a journal can simply feel good!  Perhaps by using quality paper and an ink pen it can become a wonderfully sensuous, delightful experience.   Alternatively, you might take great pleasure in keeping an on-line blog (whether private or public), and making the layout and graphics look beautiful.

Clients sometimes tell me that they don’t have time to keep a journal – try it for 30 days, spending just 10 minutes a day, and see what a difference it makes….

Write about your successes, things you are grateful for, what you have done, what you think about things, and anything else you feel moved to write about.  Look back through some of the posts in this blog to get ideas for some themes you might explore in your journal – there’s plenty of writing and happiness here…  Write about anything and everything, but above all, just write!

Good luck!

And, tell me what you think – share your thoughts on writing and happiness, and how you have got on with keeping a journal – what difference has it made?  – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters (another place where writing and happiness go together!).

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk

 

Eat your way to happiness

Is it possible to eat your way to happiness? 

Most of us know intuitively that our mind and body are very much connected.

The human body is the best picture of the human soul

— Ludwig Wittgenstein

Why do we so often reach for chips, and sugary drinks?  Do they really make us feel better, or are we just comforting ourselves with food rather than hugs.  How do you really feel after you have eaten piles of junk food and had too much to drink?

Is your body a temple… or a toilet?

Happiness of mind is clearly linked to having a ‘happy’ body.

I have talked before about choosing to fill our minds with positive thoughts.  It is equally important to fill our bodies with positive nutrition.

I am not saying you need to become a supermodel and live off rabbit food, but just to stop and think before taking a bite.

H.A.L.T. – why I am I eating/drinking this?

Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired?  Or maybe even just bored or thirsty?

If you are genuinely hungry, then eat.  If you are considering eating for any other reason, then food isn’t the answer.

So over the next few days, try to be mindful of giving your body what it needs to function best, rather than comforting your mind with food that ultimately won’t make you happier.

Good luck!

And, tell me what you think – share what you have done differently, as a result of being more mindful about food, to work towards happiness with your physical self – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters.

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk

How to be Happy at Work

Are you tired of feeling unhappy at work?  Would you like to feel happy at work instead?  Or at the very least, happier?

If you don’t think being happy at work is important then you need to read the blog-post I made here: Is Happiness at Work Important?

It might feel like we have no control over how we feel at work, but in fact, we do.

Here are some things that you can do to feel happy at work:

Always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to your colleagues – the better you treat others, the more willing they’ll be to help you get the job done.

Keep clear boundaries – don’t mix personal and professional relationships – look for intimacy in other areas of your life.

Avoid toxic colleagues – the complainers, naysayers, gossips and critics who want to rain negativity on everyone’s parade – the more you expose yourself to them, the unhappier you will feel.

Look for win-win solutions – when we engage in win-lose battles we waste energy and it is counter-productive for all.  Try compromising, collaborating and accommodating as much as you can.

Handle your frustrations constructively – use your judgement: if small conflicts between you and your colleagues lead to improvements in how effectively the team works, then that’s constructive. If frustrations lead to anger, tension and upset then that’s not constructive!

That’s just a few ideas to get you started.  You could also consider looking at improving your work environment, how you organise your day, and a range of other things that might help you feel more positive at work

– What action will you take to feel happier at work? What changes can you make to your behaviour, to be happy at work?

You may well find that as you become more positive, your colleagues do too, making a better working place for everyone.

Good luck!

And, tell me what you think – share what you have done differently, as a result of reading this article, to put more happiness into your work life – how did you feel afterwards?  – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters.

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk

Gratitude Makes Us Happy

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

– William Arthur Ward

Evidence shows that feeling gratitude and expressing thanks actually make us happier.  It is rewarding and helps us to feel good: happy with the person we are grateful to and happy with ourselves for having shown appreciation.

Thinking about the things we are grateful for also stops us from overlooking the good things that we have going on in our lives, that we sometimes fail to see.

So, today, focus on what is working well in your life.

AND, express thanks to those who are a part of that.

  1. Who do I love?
  2. When did I last tell them so?
  3. How can I better show my love and gratitude to them?
  4. Who loves me?
  5. How can I better show my appreciation to them?
  6. What am I most grateful for in my life?
  7. What is it about that which makes me feel grateful?
  8. What else am I grateful for?
  9. And what else?
  10. Who can I thank today, and how?

Today, I am simply grateful that I am here, to experience all the wonderful things that life (and the universe) has to offer.

Of course it can be a challenge at times – two people close to me have had cancer scares this month – but that has been a gentle reminder to me that there are always things to be grateful for, and sometimes it is simply my existence.

How can you develop an attitude of gratitude, to improve your happiness?

Good luck!

And, tell me what you think – share what you have done differently, as a result of reading this article, to put more happiness into your life – how did you feel afterwards?  – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters.

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk

Beliefs and Happiness

Can your beliefs affect your happiness level?  YES.  Beliefs and happiness go hand in hand.

Our beliefs and happiness are both things that we have some control over.

People who focus on choosing positive beliefs over negative ones tend to feel happier.  This is because our thoughts affect our feelings.  And our feelings affect our behaviour and ultimately how we experience the world.

Your subconscious mind tries to support you in whatever you do.  So, whatever beliefs you choose to hold, your subconscious mind supports you by finding evidence to support those beliefs.

For example: if you are running round the house saying “I can’t find my car keys,” your subconscious mind takes on this belief and raises your feelings of stress. The feelings of stress affect your behaviour: you become less observant, and so are less likely to spot where your keys are. Your belief becomes true – it has determined how you experience the world.

On the flip-side, another example: research has shown that people who believe themselves to be lucky actually tend to be luckier – the reason behind this, scientists suppose, is that they tend to spot opportunities that people who consider themselves to be unlucky do not.

So, what can we do?   Change the way we think!

Whenever you catch yourself thinking something negative, grab hold of the thought before it can take hold, and replace it with a thought that will be more helpful to you.

So, for example: if you catch a thought that says “I am rubbish at X,” stop yourself and replace it with “I am getting better at X,” or even, “I am great at X” and keep repeating these positive thoughts so that they sink in and your subconscious can find ways to support them – it really makes a difference!

So too with happiness.  A thought like “life sucks” can be replaced with “my life is getting better” or “I am making my life better” or “I am feeling happier every day”.

The aim isn’t to become a grinning loon and get carted off by men in white coats – no one wants to be smiling 24-7.  It’s about creating more positive thoughts, to change our perception of the world and allow us to get more out of life.

Incidentally, when you are feeling down, try adopting the posture of a happy person (shoulders back, sit up straight, chin-up), and smiling.  It is amazing what a difference that can make to how we feel.  Even the simple act of smiling releases ‘happy chemicals’ that elevate our mood.

So beliefs and happiness are strongly linked.

What positive beliefs can you take on, to improve your happiness?

Good luck!

And, tell me what you think – share what beliefs you have taken on to put more happiness into your life, and how you felt afterwards  – it’s great to hear your experiences, and I feature some of them in my newsletters.

Leave a comment here, or email me: Mary@Coach-me-Happy.co.uk

PS if you live in Manchester and would like to find out more about feeling happier, then book yourself a FREE place on my Happiness Workshop next Tuesday.  Limited to 50 people, so BOOK YOUR PLACE NOW BY CLICKING HERE.